Is it me again?

2020, 2021 --- felt like I'm losing two of my bestfriends this pandemic. And when I say I'm losing, it means like we're slowly growing apart. There is this healthy apart that they say because its true that we are all growing up and this is just a natural phase, a part of it. I'm not saying they are not my friends anymore but I kept telling myself to stop hoping that they can still be my one-call away friends, which means an answer to the question "who do you call at your saddest or happiest moment or at random moments?" Right now, it feels sad and very frustrating that I don't even know, in my mind, I kept telling I'll just keep it to myself and that's okay because when you feel like no one's there for you anymore, you have to make sure you're there for yourself. Stay strong, self. Keep wandering.