WONDERS of HAZELNUT. ♥

Hello love, I know you're not okay but I promise you eventually you will be. You might be crying now but eventually there will come a time that you will be okay also. Alam ko hirap na hirap ka ngayon and it feels like iniiwan ka na ng lahat pero tiis lang, okay? Kaya mo pa, kakayanin mo! Iiyak mo lang yan, Doctor Sebastian ka na next year!

Literally hello love again even though I haven't watch the movie again. It's almost 3 am and still trying to review even though I am not that consistent because now I have been experiencing anxieties, doubts and fears already. I just want to write it down to tell myself that I am aware of this feelings and its valid and eventually this too shall pass, okay? In time, you will read this again and would smile because you are already a Doctor so don't give up love! Kaya mo to, kakayanin!! Kahit na feeling mo walang naabsorb right now, in time you will see that it will all work out in the end. Just continue reading and never stop praying and trusting the process!! " When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen" In God we trust, okay? Good night and good morning love!

I actually missed being around kids, the anxieties I have right now was not there whenever I am around them so I guess all that I have to do right now is to get this over with so that I can go back to where I am supposed to be right? Do you think I will pursue pedia later on? Only time will tell. I may say I want other things right now but I guess my heart will always find its way home with the kids. I miss Pedya Kamp and the energy I had when I started volunteering. I hope one day, I can go back and continue. Love, stop looking for love in other people. Find it first within you. Be yourself. Love yourself. I keep telling you this. But how many more times do I have to whisper it to you for you to realize that it is where happiness would begin before you can radiate it to others? In time, everything will all be worth it and okay. Keep believing and trusting the process even with all the doubts. Stay strong, love. I gotchu! Love, Hizilnut

it was actually nice. okay i will leave it with that word because it should end there. no expectations because it would just hurt you hazelnut. its way too fast, and thats not you, thats not what you want yourself to be even though you've been like that. but im writing here just to remind myself to stop and thank him for being around. I feel it way behind me that this one is over and he is never gonna really like pursue me or anything serious, just something fun or casual from what people would say but im not a casual person so i need to stop and just wait for the right time and focus on what you're gonna do hazel. thats enough distraction. "stop choosing what isn't choosing you, let the good times be good times and let yourself move forward when its over."

Today is a reminder that you're not ready, okay? Not yet or never again? Prioritize yourself first hizil and everything else will follow. No more additional traumas, please.

Good morning not so strannge place with memories. And so they say, do not associate places and things with memories but how can I forget? I have learned things the hard way for the past few months and it's my testament to say that time somehow will help us heal. Slowly slowly but surely. We just have to create new memories to associate with it again, it may not be as easy as it sounds but it's possible hizil. You love creating memories, so create so much more, okay? It's my first day here in Baguio and here's to more days of staying here. I pray that my heart heals from all the burden it holds. This secret blog diary have seen me through different phases of life, mostly pag heartbroken hahaha thank you for being a place where i can share things comfortably without worrying. This is a place where I sometimes end up laughing about what happened to me and how it had change me to be the person I am today. Been a month since you finished internship, you've went to vigan...

you are now another year older, can't remember when did i start calling myself love, but it is to remind myself that whatever is going on, i need to love myself, i need to learn to love myself and be there for her because i know for the longest time that i have been doing so many things to sabotage her happiness, but whatever that is i hope you learn from those things, hizil. i would like to write a letter to you love, so here goes nothing. hi love, despite the people that left you and the people you choose to let go, i know you're choosing to dwell on kind thoughts that there are a lot of people beside you that loves yoou genuinely. Despite the pain and betrayal, you're choosing to be kind, i know how much you're praying to have the courage to forgive and let go because you know how heavy it feels to keep it all inside you. I know you're still keeping so much pain inside you. One step at a time, let it go. you have been through a lot and im here to say that im ...

its june 1, and my birthmonth, and in a few weeks another number to my age. i hope this would be another beginning, another chance for me to become a better person and learn from eveything that happened. i hope this month would help me heal more, forgive more. this too shall pass hizil so while you are still hanging in there, hold on tight because everything will be okay, not now but sooner or later. it wont rain forever. love, hizil

all the little things that make me happy even the simplest one makes me grateful because surviving and getting by every day seems hard this past few weeks. but thank you Lord, for all the little things. Met a friend from 11 years ago, just putting it here for memories that it felt nice talking to someone I was so curious about as a kid and having him as a friend again. It also feels nice to know that i have my family and closest friends to stand by me. I will be okay, i know i will be okay.

whenever it feels so heavy sometimes I would silently wish that the universe would return this all to the both of you, but it would feel heavier to wish something like this, pero kasi it was both your choice to hurt someone so bad na sobrang traumatizing, why? wala padin sagot, sana masaya kayo.

just something to get by today, even with all of these chaos in my mind, i still hope you're okay. Ang bigat bigat padin to wake up everyday knowing what happened, its possible pala to struggle to breathe because of whats happening. Sa lahat ng nangyari sa buhay ko, ito yung isa sa pinakamalala and I pray for the day na sana maging magaan na ulit. Na I would just look back on what happenened and see this as something that made me a better person, because yu truly made me a better person wih all those broken pieces of me. Kailangan kaya ko ngayon, kainlangan kayanin ko. I still wonder how you're able to treat me as someone you never knew. Love, just a stranger with memories