Hi Mico!

If ever you get the chance to read this, I know you know yourself. I hope you know that you are the one I am talking about here in this whatever you want to call this that I will soon post. 

I am currently thinking about you. Stating the obvious actually. I don't know. It's like that there's something that makes me think about you for how many random times. If you quite know my be now, maybe you don't know how to deal with this feelings that I am encountering. I am not fond of dealing with guys deeply. Yes I talk to guys but then I don't try to talk to them into deeper conversations. Almost a month palang kasi tayong nagkakausap talaga, and once lang na nagkasama talaga so yes, I still don't consider my feelings as something urgent or important or something that I should worry about. But yes, I kinda think that I am starting to like you but then I am hoping that I won't fall for you. I guess its a bad idea. 

You make me feel special kaso I am so worried kasi there are a lot of people who had tried to make me feel special pero hindi naman pala. This is the cruel ways of the world of making some people happy. And seeing how often this happens to me, it brought me to this attitude na nahihirapan nakong magtiwala. I doubt, so many times that it comes to the point of being annoying. I find myself annoying as well. So I expect you people will find me and my overthinking attitude much more annoying that you may like me at first but then time will come, magsasawa din kayo. Ako nanaman mahihirapan so brace thyself nalang always. 

So ayuuun nga, you told me na si friend mo na friend ko is possible na may gusto sakin. You were so sure nga na talagang may gusto sakin. So I was thinking what If magustuhan kita? What if? Bawal ba? But then after asking myself bawal ba, napaisip ako, why should I think about that e, ikaw nga baka hindi mo pala ako gusto and you were just trying to be friends with me. Ayun lang pala. Edi pak ganeeern dibaaa? xD Kaya as much as possible while I am still in control of my feelings, of my actions, maybe I can do something about this. 

I tried to randomly ask you about this and all you said was "Alam kong, alam mo kung paano ako mag-isip" Honestly, medyo. I know na when you like someone, and ipapakita niya sayo na wala, okay lang sayo. Ewaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ko. Hahahhahahahahhahahahhaha pero i know malalagpasan ko din to ng hindi mo nalalaman. 

Siguro kung sakali man na gusto mo ako and wala ka ginawa, hayaan nalang kung ano man tong random feeling na nafifeel ko. And if ever man na wala kang something towards sakin, siguro mararamdaman ko naman yuuun and eventually accept it. Kasi kasi minsan parang ang sweet mo din. Kaso kaso i keep reminding myself not to be malisyos a and give meanings kasi in the end, bagsak nanaman ako ng walang sasalo. 

So ayuuuun, Hi Mico, I am sorry kung ganito man yung naramdaman ko. And I don't know if this is something to be sorry about that. I am sorry kasi I am not allowing myself to trust you fully. Although ganuuun namaaan yuuun dibaaa, we have to earn someone's trust, di naman agaaad nakukuha yun pero whatever happens, please just don't go away easily after unconciously or conciously trying to make me feel happy. 

I really appreciate guys who tries to talk to me personally kasi you know that I am not comfortable being around anybody na lalake. So I guess I have to end it here. And goodluck to whatever's going to happen next, may it be something, everything or nothing. Always know that I am thankful in every way because nakilala kita.