hehe hi love

just wanted to share how sad it felt to be reminded of a bad memory, but decided eventually to put this one here because at the same time, I knew from that moment I woke up that somehow I am in control now and I am no longer in that dark place. But I've also realized the trauma it gave me feels so heavy, because honestly I am still scared and most of the time, I would always to choose now to isolate myself, the thought of people leaving in the most unexpected way scares me so much, so at the back of my mind, I dont want people having that chance or oppurtunity to do it again.

but yes, I'm praying for my healing that eventually I will forgive people and forgive myself for choosing to be in that situation before. I am slowly learning to listen to what will truly make me happy and at peace.

okay bye love, aral na ulit ako. I hope maging Doctor na ako sa April, I am currently contemplating on going back to Sagada alone. Malay natin matuloy. To having more plans to look forward to! Love, hezelnut coconut

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Hello Love,

We've come a long way, and no matter how this chapter would end, please know that you did well! And I appreciate how much you're trying! Thank you for holding on for yourself love! Tomorrow is one of those big moments day, and they told us to write a letter to ourselves that one day we can always look back, and yes that's you, you always love looking back to what happened to you. And I bet you should start learning to let go as well, right? We have been doing this for so many times already, writing random stuffs everytime you go through something or whenever something is bothering you and you just need to let it go. I would like to remind you that last night you cried so much, I don't even know how it happened, how it started. I just know that there are so many emotions running in your mind, in your heart right now. You also cried because you felt madudurog na yung utak mo sa sobrang sakit, siz you felt the pulsations in your temporal lobe, sabi mo pa nga is this my p...
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hello love

you are now another year older, can't remember when did i start calling myself love, but it is to remind myself that whatever is going on, i need to love myself, i need to learn to love myself and be there for her because i know for the longest time that i have been doing so many things to sabotage her happiness, but whatever that is i hope you learn from those things, hizil. i would like to write a letter to you love, so here goes nothing. hi love, despite the people that left you and the people you choose to let go, i know you're choosing to dwell on kind thoughts that there are a lot of people beside you that loves yoou genuinely. Despite the pain and betrayal, you're choosing to be kind, i know how much you're praying to have the courage to forgive and let go because you know how heavy it feels to keep it all inside you. I know you're still keeping so much pain inside you. One step at a time, let it go. you have been through a lot and im here to say that im ...
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thank you Lord

thank you Lord for always being nice to me despite me doing all the running away stuff from so many problems, thank you for the courage, for the heart that still wants to keep going no matter what. thank you for all the good people you surround me with, i pray for a heart that would always want to be good to other people, that would always choose to be kind and to help more. thank you for all the people who are praying for me. i will try again because i truly believe that you planted this dream in my heart for a reason, even tho hirap na hirap na ako intindihin ang med i will always choose to stay in this field, someday makakaraos din. for now, aral ulit! keep going hizil and just trust the process. love, hezelnut coconut
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