WONDERS of HAZELNUT. ♥

Hello love, Almost there, whatever it is, lift it all up, okay? I know deep inside you, a lot of worries and anxieties padin, pero I appreciate how you're trying your best to keep it all together, fighting lang!!!! Thank you Lord for all the blessings and for Anna, I'm here in Manda, reviewing with Anna. Had second thoughts before kasi feel ko may mali sakin but prayed for this, I know this is from you Lord. I have lots of doubts sa self ko pero I trust You, and your timing. Kaya I will try and always try. And sana, makahelp din po ako kay Anna, in any way. good morning, love!!! aral padin!!! love, hezelnut!!

To my guardian angel, Its been more than a decade of not being with you, and you, celebrating your day in heaven. I still celebrate your existence in my life and remember you so many times. I wrote a lot of letters for you and I'm sorry a lot of it talks about struggles and surviving but you kept me going. So today, I look back again on our memories that continues to guide me to want to be a better person because I saw you try and try to become a bigger person. Always helping. Always loving. Happy birthday in heaven Tita. Your prayers for me are still here, because I am still here. I went to church this morning, Tita, like every other sunday. May nakatabi ako na lola and her apo and I remembered you and how we were like that before, napangiti nalang ako when I heard the apo say na punta daw sila mamaya sa playground sa plaza. And yes that was me also, na magswiswing for 5-10 mins bago umuwi + jollibee with kiddie meals hahahha kaya mas gusto ko dati sa Cathedral nagsisimba com...

I am here to say I'm happy you're trying, you're taking your healing seriously. And it's okay to choose yourself multiple times. If you lost people in the middle of searching for your peace, it will be okay. It may hurt now, I know you miss them so much. I know how much you value your relationship and how toxic your attachment issue can be. But please know, there's nothing wrong with feeling deeply for people you like. And I know there's something wrong with you isolating yourself, but slowly, you will get better at handling your relationship whether it be friends or family. You will be okay. I'm proud of how you're trying to be aware of your emotions. Takes time, so be gentle and patient with yourself. We're done with midterms, and you finished it without breaking down. And whatever your score may be, let this be something to push you more and prepare more. Pray, okay? For courage and peace. Someday, it won't be heavy anymore. And I'll be ...

Hello love, PAPAPSA KA!!! Yes, i came here just to say that because I trust in you, with all the 28 yrs old younger version of you, we trust in you. And regardless of whatever is happening around you, I will always root for you. From yourself, love, hezelnut chocnut nabaliw na palagi. K bye. Papasa ka!

I'm sorry for cutting people every time right now because I'm scared of my emotions that they would not know how to handle because I don't know how to handle it myself. So instead we just choose not to bother people. Just breathe, okay? Inhale exhale. I know its funny to think of this because of the ovewhelming emotions, but this too shall pass. Still hoping for good days ahead, someday. Someday. Love, hezelnut not wanting to give up kahit gusto na.

hi love, i know this is random but you deserve the love you want. never settle for anything less just because you're afraid you would have no one. malulungkot ka lang lalo in the end. stay strong, okay? gotchu and love you, always. love, hezelnut chocnut

Hello love, First of all and not last hahahhajk happy birthday to you, I know a lot of things happened again, a lot of struggles but hey,I am always proud that you're here showing up for you. I know there are so many times that you're choosing to dwell on doubting yourself, but I am still proud that you still choose to show up and that takes a lot of courage so even though you feel sometimes that no one's there for you, I will try my best to hug you and comfort you and still support you with all the whispers I have reserved for those times. I know it's real but don't let those negative whispers and overthinking invade your mind. You are in control, love. You are growing. I know that. You have been hurt and of course, please also accept the fact that even though it was not intentional, you have also hurt them. In time, I hope everything falls into place but regardless, choose to forgive, choose to be more kind, choose to let go of the pain. Do not let it consume yo...

There's a lot of post in threads wherein I always see people posting and writing stuff to their future someone. I am not sure of the feeling of sadness I have right now roots from there. I don't know I kept telling myself that its not my priority to find a partner but I know deep down that having a family of my own will always be a dream. That's why there's also that fear of starting again. What happens in the future, hazelnut? We don't know but will keep praying that when the future comes, we will be ready. Aral padin! Love, hazelnut coconut

hello love, Today, we received your account again for another beginning or just a continuation of what we have started. I don't know what's yet to come but I hope you fill your heart with hope and trust and more more courage to keep going, okay? I know it's hard, I know you've been hurt but you can do this, okay? I hope at the end of this, all of us would pass. I hope your heart and mind would rest with the thought that the friendship was always genuine to begin with. No more dwelling on what could have been, after this one, I hope we all find the courage to somehow fix things, somehow, somedday. I wish you all the best for this one, discipline, okay? You can do this hizil, i gotchu. With all the love I am still learning to give you, hezelnut coconut. PS: Today, I met Den. And I really hope that we can be good friends for a very long long time. Its hard you know to attach yourself and keep hoping to find good friends that you can always count on. I'm just putting...

thank you Lord for always being nice to me despite me doing all the running away stuff from so many problems, thank you for the courage, for the heart that still wants to keep going no matter what. thank you for all the good people you surround me with, i pray for a heart that would always want to be good to other people, that would always choose to be kind and to help more. thank you for all the people who are praying for me. i will try again because i truly believe that you planted this dream in my heart for a reason, even tho hirap na hirap na ako intindihin ang med i will always choose to stay in this field, someday makakaraos din. for now, aral ulit! keep going hizil and just trust the process. love, hezelnut coconut

We've come a long way, and no matter how this chapter would end, please know that you did well! And I appreciate how much you're trying! Thank you for holding on for yourself love! Tomorrow is one of those big moments day, and they told us to write a letter to ourselves that one day we can always look back, and yes that's you, you always love looking back to what happened to you. And I bet you should start learning to let go as well, right? We have been doing this for so many times already, writing random stuffs everytime you go through something or whenever something is bothering you and you just need to let it go. I would like to remind you that last night you cried so much, I don't even know how it happened, how it started. I just know that there are so many emotions running in your mind, in your heart right now. You also cried because you felt madudurog na yung utak mo sa sobrang sakit, siz you felt the pulsations in your temporal lobe, sabi mo pa nga is this my p...

Hello love, I know you've been trying so hard to show everyone that you're okay. Please know that I'm still proud of you. You did well, okay? I know what you went through. Stay kind to yourself, keep choosing to be kind to yourself so that you would genuinely be kind to other people also without sabotaging yourself in the process. Love, hizil. Continue reaching for your dreams. No matter how hard. Goodnight mwa

i miss you so much Tita, help me stay strong pls, watch over me, always and always. I love you and i miss yoooou so much!!!!

Trust the process, in everything you do, do it with God. In God we trust. I kept whispering this to myself everyday as a reminder that truly all things will be possible, and this kept me going because after everything, I am still here. But today, I felt overwhelmed, I had to cry it all out to lessen the weight I was feeling. Thank you Sat, for listening, it meant so much to me to know that someone was there to listen. And yes, aral na ulit love kasi tapos ka na magbreak down. Papasa ako! Tiwala lang, okay?

Not to be negative but right now, im feeling down, little bit way way down. Yes, there's always that pain knowing that he never really makes that effort to be close to me, where in fact he was the one who left me, I was the one who forced myself to come back to his life and still I get this. Sometimes its just frustrating, depressing and i cant even explain the mixed emotion but we get used to it, just sliding that tiny feeling of hoping he might later on show up the way he should. hazelnut, walang magiipon ng sama ng loob! bye

im here just because, yes just because i need to put my thoughts somewhere. i cannot afford any more space for any distractions that is not supposed to be there in the first place. and i guess i just got carried away again. again hazelnut, sometimes you dont fail to disapppont nu? so yes maybe im just here to a little bit scold myself and now im quite on my way to telling myself again that u gonna be alright gurl!!! priorites!!! and yes, felt drained today, physically mentally emotionally socially in so many ways, let's rest na nga para later aral ulit. ang dali dali sumuko promise, pero wag ka susuko hazelnut pls! you have to try, para sa pangarap! para sa mga taong mas matutulungan later on!! tibay ng loob now, iyak later kasi kinaya mo!! goodnight love! somehow along the way, life creeps in to remind me how people come and go and to tell me again to be more selective of the people whom i try to let into my life, i hope they stop from sucking in all the energy and love i stil...

just wanted to share how sad it felt to be reminded of a bad memory, but decided eventually to put this one here because at the same time, I knew from that moment I woke up that somehow I am in control now and I am no longer in that dark place. But I've also realized the trauma it gave me feels so heavy, because honestly I am still scared and most of the time, I would always to choose now to isolate myself, the thought of people leaving in the most unexpected way scares me so much, so at the back of my mind, I dont want people having that chance or oppurtunity to do it again. but yes, I'm praying for my healing that eventually I will forgive people and forgive myself for choosing to be in that situation before. I am slowly learning to listen to what will truly make me happy and at peace. okay bye love, aral na ulit ako. I hope maging Doctor na ako sa April, I am currently contemplating on going back to Sagada alone. Malay natin matuloy. To having more plans to look forward...

hahahahaha the title got me questioning myself too? nuraw. In the middle of the night, or maybe in the middle of the madaling araw, I am here in Baguio, downstairs of the apartment where I'm staying at. Got back from Vigan and instead of letting the cold and my thoughts consume me, i decided to write before all the batteries run off. I visited Tita awhile ago and isn't it funny that in my thoughts, I was telling Tita how much of a kind, patient and loving person she was to me and that I wanna be like her despite all the pains I had to go through. I know she knows how hurt I am but I kept telling myself I am still blessed to have experienced growing up by their side and that I know I grew up with the best people by my side trying their best to give me the things I need and want against all odds. They raised me well, they raised me to be a good person. And so I kept praying that despite everything, I want to be as kind, patient and loving person like Tita. I want to be as toug...

Just like any other day, today is the same. hahaha joke lang. di ako bitter, but I guess today would remind me that I'm grateful I'm alive and trying everyday to learn how to love myself. It's also a nice day to remind myself not to settle ever again! For all the pain, I hope someday I would be able to look back and smile and be grateful for all the lessons it gave me. But today, it's more on acceptance that whatever happened, it will be okay and I will heal! Aral padin today despite the anxiety na 44 days nalang! Do not be afraid, be courageous! Good morning love! Love, hazelnut chocnut. PS: we got free lettuce for today, and I guess even without the relationship, It was nice starting the day with receiving smiles and kindness from other people, so today, let's not only spread love but kindness at most as well! Keep going love!

hello love, I know you're not okay and it's okay not to be okay. I know you will be okay soon so just trust the process. Even though you feel alone right now, just pray, okay? You will be able to let go all of it, soon! I know the time will come that you will be able to start again. Just finish this one and then we will start again! I gotchu self, inhale exhale, aral na ulit!